By Robyn Ply and Michael O’Connell
A Personal Story – Robyn Ply’s perspective: Early in my career, I interviewed for a leadership role at a healthcare organization—a new position that aligned well with my aspirations and would allow me to further develop and apply my leadership skills. In the week leading up to the interview, I dedicated time to prepare thoughtfully: researching the organization, speaking with employees to better understand the culture, and working with mentors to refine my responses. I felt ready—hopeful, with a bit of uncertainty—and as the day approached, I found myself thinking about the work I had put in and what the opportunity could mean for my future growth. The day began with two consecutive panel interviews, each with ten participants. It was intense, but not unexpected. I responded to a range of leadership and operational questions, doing my best to remain authentic, composed, and professional.
Then came the final panel—a smaller group of five frontline staff. That’s when things shifted.
As I sat in the middle of the room, I was asked illegal and troubling questions: “Are you Latina?” “Are you married?” “How old are you?” “Do you have children?” “How old are they?” “How do you plan to get to work?”
What surprised me even more was that the group supervisor sat by and said nothing. I knew the questions were inappropriate, but lacking interview experience from this type of scenario , I smiled through it, answering as gracefully as I could, and left feeling disappointed and a bit stunned that no one stepped in.
Afterward, I turned to colleagues for advice. The feedback was mixed: some said to report it, others said to let it go and move on. I chose not to report the incident—not because it was acceptable, but because I genuinely don’t think there was malice involved. The staff were trying to connect with me in the only way they knew how. I assumed there was a lack of formal interview training, as many times that type of training is not offered to frontline staff. That said, I do believe their leadership should have intervened and guided the conversation appropriately.
This experience was a powerful learning moment for me. Looking back, I wish I had the clarity and confidence in the moment to say, “I’m not comfortable answering that.” I wish I had redirected the conversation. But like many of us in high-stakes situations, I froze, unsure of how to navigate it without risking the opportunity.
In the days that followed, I realized something even more important: if this was considered acceptable behavior during the interview process, what is their work culture? That reflection helped me shift my perspective. Sometimes the red flag isn’t loud—it’s quiet, awkward, and uncomfortable. And that’s enough.
As healthcare professionals and leaders, we have a responsibility to uphold a culture of regulatory compliance and respect—not just in patient care, but in our hiring practices and workplace culture. We must ensure that those we bring into the room feel seen for their qualifications, not their personal identity.
This was a tough lesson, but I’m grateful for it. It reminded me that leadership isn’t taking on roles—it’s about staying true to your values, speaking up even when it’s hard, and creating space for others to do the same.
Experiences like mine illustrate the pressing need for awareness and preparation. Understanding how to navigate these moments empowers candidates to maintain professionalism while protecting their rights.
Another Personal Story and What We’ve Learned – Michael O’Connell’s perspective: Unfortunately, Robyn’s experience is not unique or different. Many people can share a similar experience or situation where questions asked were not appropriate. Navigating interviews can be challenging, especially when faced with illegal or inappropriate questions that have no relevance to the position. While interviewers should adhere to fair hiring practices, some may unintentionally—or deliberately—ask questions that could violate employment laws. When I was asked inappropriate questions from a physician during an interview, I realized that she was using the clinical skills she learned for a History and Physical and without her understanding, applying them illegally to the
interview. Knowing how to respond to these types of situations with an effective and professional response can help provide just-in-time teaching during the situation and can protect one’s rights while keeping the interview on
track.
Recognizing Illegal and Inappropriate Questions
The following questions violate federal laws such as the Civil Rights Act, Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA), and Age Discrimination in Employment Act (ADEA). If you’re ever been asked an illegal question, you must first recognize that it’s illegal. And if a question makes you uncomfortable, you can professionally decline to answer while redirecting the conversation toward relevant qualifications.
Race, Color, National Origin, Personal Background & Identity
- “What is your ethnicity?” “What is your native language?” “Where were you born?”
- “Do you identify as male or female?”
- “What is your sexual orientation?”
- “What is your maiden name?”
Family & Marital Status
- “Are you a single parent?” “Do you have a boyfriend?”
- “Who will care for your children while you work?”
- “Do you live with your spouse?” “Do you plan to get pregnant in the next couple of years?”
- “Are you engaged or planning to get married?”
Health & Disability
- “Do you take any prescription medications?”
- “Have you ever been hospitalized?” “Are you pregnant?”
- “Do you have any chronic illnesses?”
- “Have you ever filed a workers’ compensation claim?”
Financial Status
- “What outstanding debts do you have?” “Have you ever filed for bankruptcy?”
- “What’s your home situation?” “Do you rent or own your home?”
- “Have you ever received welfare or public assistance?”
Military Service
- “What type of discharge did you receive from the military?”
- “Did you serve in combat or fight on the front line?” “Do you suffer from PTSD?”
- “Were you ever injured during your service?” “Did you ever kill anyone?”
Political & Social Affiliations
- “What political party do you support?” “Who did you vote for in the last election?”
- “Are you a member of any activist organizations?”
- “Have you ever participated in public protests or demonstrations?”
Religion
- “What is your religion?”
- “Do you observe any religious holidays?”
Age
- “How old are you?”
- “When did you graduate from high school?”
Gender and Sexual Orientation
- “Are you pregnant?”
- “What is your sexual orientation?”
Arrest and Criminal Record
- “Have you ever been arrested?”
(Employers may be able to ask about convictions if relevant to the job.)
These questions have no bearing on one’s ability to perform the job and should not be used to evaluate candidates. Handling illegal interview questions requires both professionalism and strategic redirection. Here are some approaches one can use:
- Redirect the Question Asked. If you’re asked an inappropriate question, politely redirect the discussion back to your relevant qualifications.
Example
Interviewer: “Do you have children?”
Candidate: “What I’d like you to understand in the position I’m applying for is that I’m fully committed to the time commitments involved. I have outstanding time management skills and any personal obligations will not interfere with my job responsibilities. Please share with me any concerns you may have with the time commitments I would be expected to assume.”
- Answer the Question’s Intent and Not the Actual Inappropriate Question Asked. Sometimes, illegal questions stem from concerns about scheduling or commitment. Address the concern without giving personal details.
Example
Interviewer: “Are you planning to get pregnant in the next year?”
Candidate: “I’m excited about the opportunity that this position would provide me and am committed in providing value to the organization.”
- Politely Decline to Answer the Question. If a question makes you uncomfortable, it’s perfectly appropriate to not answer the question.
Example
Interviewer: “What’s religion do you practice?”
Candidate: “My religion is a private matter and I’d prefer to keep it separate from my professional life since it doesn’t have any bearing on the position I’m applying for. And I’d like to discuss how my leadership skills would align with the position and be of value in addressing the organization’s needs.”
- Assess the Situation and Challenge the Question If Needed. Many interviewers want to establish rapport with the candidate. Not understanding the gravity of the situation by getting too personal, they may start with informal dialogue and ask questions that are inappropriate without realizing they are doing it. If the question seems like a genuine mistake,
you can decide to let it slide or can address it diplomatically. However, if inappropriate questions continue to persevere after redirecting the discussion away from personal questions, it may be a sign that the corporate culture would not be a good fit for you. If the questions continue to be obviously
discriminatory, you can assert your rights without confrontation by responding:
“That’s really not a question that’s relevant to my qualifications or the job description. Instead, I’d like to answer the question by sharing with you my experience and examples of how I can successfully manage conflict, successfully lead change, and support operational excellence”
Strengthening Employer Responsibility
While our focus has been on how individuals should respond, organizational accountability is also needed. Employers and hiring managers must ensure that anyone conducting interviews are properly trained in employment law and fair hiring practices. Without appropriate training, it risks legal violations and damages an organization’s reputation and ability to attract needed talent.
Strategies for Responding
If you’re asked an inappropriate or illegal question, you have several ways to handle the situation gracefully. There are many federal and state laws that prohibit discriminatory hiring practices. If you suspect any bias, you can always decide to document the experience and pursue legal protections. That process is another article in and of itself. In conclusion, remember that during an interview, you are interviewing the organization just as much as they are interviewing you. Keep your rights and dignity in check, know that the best employers focus on one’s skills, experience, and potential, respect boundaries, and ensure that their staff know how to professionally interview candidates.
Key Takeaways:
✔ Recognize illegal questions and your rights.
✔ Redirect the conversation to relevant skills.
✔ Address concerns without revealing personal details.
✔ Set boundaries while maintaining professionalism.
✔ Assess whether the workplace culture aligns with your values.
